Kepo sama anak? Jangan salah nanya!

Saat ramai ada kasus yang melibatkan anak-anak, entah itu pelecehan atau bully, gue jadi ekstra komunikatif sama anak. Lebih tepatnya ekstra kepo, sih.. hehe. Sambil memantau perkembangan kasus, gue contek poin-poin dari kasus itu, gue tanyain ke bocah.

Misalnya, nih, saat ramai kasus pelecehan, gue tanya:

• gimana cara guru menangani anak TK atau kelas 1-2 SD kalau mau pipis atau BAB dan belum bisa cebok sendiri?
• siapa yang nganter anak ke kamar mandi? Guru atau ada personel sekolah yang lain?
• teman anak ada yang belum bisa cebok sendiri, nggak?
• pintu kamar mandi bisa dikunci/kuncinya rusak, nggak?

Atau pas rame kasus bully, pertanyaan gue:

Olahraga Di Rumah

Berhubung setelah persalinan yang keempat gue memutuskan steril, sekarang saatnya untuk back and stay in shape. Sebelumnya boro-boro, yang ada mah males karena mikir, toh, nanti masih bakal hamil lagi.

Terakhir gue olahraga, berenang seminggu sekali, itu pas sebelum hamil anak pertama dan ditinggal bekerja beda kota sama suami. That was early 2004. Maklum, masih masa honeymoon :D. Olahraga juga buat asyik-asyik aja waktu itu nggak terpacu untuk kesehatan yang gimana-gimana.

*gambar dari sini

Gue kebetulan diberkahi badan yang nggak gampang gemuk. Tapi namanya abis hamil, biarpun berat badan cepat balik, perut tetap aja ngegelambir. Hayoo, siapa yang nggak, boleh angkat tangan, deh! *trus Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, dan mama-mama yogi rame-rame angkat tangan -_-*.

Exclusive Breastfeeding = 100% Breast Milk?

Well yeah, that's the general idea. And that was my previous thought too.

But I did not put it as a big deal to my breastfeeding job (job? yes it is a job. I will mention about this in the next post). It doesn't affect my motivation to keep breastfeeding although two of my babies were formula fed during their first hours at the hospital. It is definitely not a right policy for hospitals to 'force' formula-feeding of course. But whatever, that's the ugly truth here in this country.

Later I found out that this exclusive breastfeeding label has in fact caused some new moms to lose their breastfeeding motivation. They even ceased from being a breastfeeding mom. This happens only because they have to add a few bottles of formula to support their babies at early hours while waiting the breast milk to be fully produced. What a pity and what an impact of what labeling can do.

Let's just break things down. We breastfeed our babies to get the most of the best food for babies under 6 months old.

Some of breast milk’s advantages are (as we all know :P):

• almost none allergic reaction (if there is, observe the mother's diet).
• full of antibody that works way beyond the breastfeeding age.
• full of primary nutrition that is needed for baby's growth and development. Mostly for brain and the neurological system.
• lowering the risk of breast cancer for the mother.
• natural way to lose weight for the mother.

As for me, add caring 2, (and later 3! :D) more toddler without any assistance, and I get my size 29 jeans back before my baby is 9mo :P…but I still have to get rid that baby fat in my tummy for sure *sigh*.

So with all these advantages, why should we bother whether we had breastfed our babies exclusively or not if it was just about this few unimportant bottles of formula?

How significant it is considering that later on we will breastfeed for at least two years?

How significant it is the 2-3x 30ml of formula, than a freezer (or more!) full of pumped breast milk?

How significant it is…to sacrifice our descendants’ well-being, just because the label?

I’m breastfeeding three babies since December 12, 2004 until this very day. I have stopped only for 1 month + 4 months, both during pregnancies. My first baby got about 2-3 days of formula during his first days. While my second one got 1 x 30ml because my husband, unknowingly, has given the authority to the hospital for giving formula while I’m still in the recovery room after a C-sect.

(edited on Mar 25, 2015:
I'm still breasfeeding my 4th that is 3y 4d today. That will count as 10y 3m journey of breasfeeding. Still my day off record is unchanged 1 month + 4 months. My 3rd and 4th never knew baby bottles, neither formulas. They start eating at 6m or a bit more, while their older siblings started earlier. And to my surprise, they eat much better than the older ones.

Yes, babies aren't necessarily need or related to bottles, be it formula or expressed breastmilk fed.)

Fortunately I have won the battle with the hospital staffs *lebay* so my youngest boy haven’t had a drop of any formula. Such an unimportant and annoying effort *sigh*…

Still, I’m proud and I claimed that I have breastfed all of my babies EXCLUSIVELY for their first six months, regardless what people might say about my situation.

But my point is...let’s just breastfeed and ignore any label. Breastfeeding can never be wrong.

*first published in http://mommiesdaily.com/2009/12/09/exclusive-breastfeeding-100-breast-milk/

Orangtua, Konsultan atau Pembantu?

Masih yang tersisa dari heboh buku si psikolog, tapi kali ini bukan tentang isi bukunya, melainkan metode parenting yang diperkenalkan psikolog tersebut. Kebetulan di beberapa poin sejalan dengan pola yang gue anut dengan mengadopsi sebagian gaya orangtua gue. Tapi seperti biasa, nggak ada ceritanya gue telan mentah-mentah semuanya. Pasti ada penyesuaian lagi karena tiap keluarga berbeda. Jadi bukan gue yang menyesuaikan pola parenting dengan saran psikolog (siapapun itu). Tapi lebih ke pola mereka yang sesuai dengan gue, syukur-syukur dengan penerapan yang lebih ok, gue adopsi.

gambar doc pribadi

Salah satu yang cocok dengan pola gue adalah tentang kemandirian dan posisi orangtua dalam keseharian anak. Semua ilmu parenting yang gue tahu salah satu targetnya adalah kemandirian anak. Bagi gue, poin tersebut gue sambungin sama konsekuensi atau resiko. Tadinya kirain semua orangtua mau anaknya mandiri, lho, tapi percaya, nggak, kalau banyak juga yang masi menyabot kemandirian anak demi 'nggak tega'?

My Fourth Born

Terakhir neehh terakhirrrr...

Terakhir beneran kali ini soalnya pas SC dokternya bilang kulit perut n rahim udah tipis bener sampe mbayang air ketuban padahal baru belek satu lapis -_-. SC telat seminggu bisa kluar sendiri bayinya alias rupture rahim huaa... Alhamdulillah dari awal emang udah rencana sekalian tubektomi kali ini :).

Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your third born!Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself! Let's see how much you remember! 

1. WAS YOUR FOURTH CHILD'S PREGNANCY PLANNED? 

Iyes. Skalian tutup pabrik. Walo agak lama juga melesetnya ya, kira2 selang 6bln sejak stop KB (walo KBnya juga yg manual2 ajah :D).

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? 

Yaelah, udin anak keempat, nikah mah kapan tauk... (copas edit ke3 aja dah)

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? 

Alhamdulillahh, abis ini pangsiun dah =))

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? 

Never ever walo bapaknya a bit pissed waktu itu karena sikon keluarga sedang ga stabil. Dih kaga sekarang kapan kelarnya gue enak aja lu -_-. 

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 

33 th 9bln...persis! Iyak percis 3th dari D3.

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? 

Flu berat (juga)... Tepar 3-4 bulan pertama dan ngap2an the whole pregnancy. Faktor Uuuuuu...

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? 

Yang menghamili =)) *teuteuuuppp* Lah piye, yg kudu tanggung jawab pan itu2 jugaa (copas juga dah)

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?

Iyes karena arep2 kayak D2 kan ya biar imbang getoh. Tapi berhubung salah posisi waktu bikin kadung kebiasaan SOPnya jadi cetakannya sama hauahahaha. Yang penting sehat walafiat jasmani rohani yaa ibu2 bapak2!

9. DUE DATE? 

7 April 2009, tapi lahirnya 21 Maret 2009... Maju 2.5 minggu alias 17 hari (kurang lebih idem juga dah, secara HPHTnya persis D3).

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? 

THE WHOLE PREGNANCY I SAID!  

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? 

Mentos masi mempan sih...makanan keknya yah seadanya lah yg cocok ke lidah *udah pasrah*.  

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? 

EVERYTHING

13. WHAT WAS YOUR THIRD CHILD'S SEX? 

Cowok 

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? 

Ho o siiyy *liat poin 8 noh

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 

lupa dah startnya brapa, kayaknya sih 54an sampe 61an kayaknya....*amnesia.

*edit: abis baca notes fluktuasi BB ternyata start di 51-52kg

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? 

Boro2. Rempong nek baru pindahan dr Semarang ke Jakarta. 

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? 

ih, dibilangin lagi rempong jugaaa... 

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

Selama hamil sih lancar2 aja. Mendekati SC date ketauan Hb rendah, 8.4 klo ga salah. Udah disuruh boost sampe diatas 10 ternyata mentok 8.9. Jadilah selama SC dan setelah pake transfusi biar gak makin drop. Alhamdulillah sehat slamet semuanya. 

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? 

RS Omni (OMC) Pulomas Jakarta.  

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 

standar sesar, paling sejam-an di ruang ops... tapi plus proses tubektomi. 

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? 

Bapake nakkanak.

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? 

Tadinya pengen Dj bisa ikutan masuk. Tapi D3 terpaksa dibawa karena belum ada yg jagain. Yasudlah sendiri lagi sama nakes.  

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? 

Sesar... noh diatas asal usulnya... 

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? 

Ya iyalaaahhh namanya sesar...tapi kali ini bujuuugg untolerable gak kayak D3. Sampe 3mg masi nyut2an parah nyaris ga bisa bangun. Kenapa ya?

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 

3470gr, paling kecil diantara yang lain. Udah koret2 kalik bahannya :D  

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? 

21 03 2012,16:37 sore  

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? 

Muhammad Dhirendra Altamish Abidin 

31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FOURTH BORN TODAY?

2th 1bln *iyeee telat bingits ngenotenyaa

*poto ada di album ye...ntar dah klo inget tempel dimari :D